What Am I Doing?

Trying to find your voice about anything is hard. And that sounds weird coming from me because I’ve always considered myself to be a voice. But now I’m realizing that I’ve only been a voice and I’m trying to find my Voice. It’s that thing that I want to say or that message I want to share. I’ve always had something to say, but it’s never been my own.

People who don’t know me, but hear me, tell me I have a great voice and should be on the radio. It doesn’t matter if I emcee an event, read a book aloud to children at the library or even place an order at a coffee shop. That’s the response I get. 

Wow. I am on the radio. So what?

Apparently, it doesn’t matter what I say as long as I speak. I’ve made a living at it. Someone gives me the words or the thoughts and I enunciate them in a tone that is pleasing to the ear. I really don’t think it matters if I quote the Wall Street Journal, recite the Canterbury Tales, or read the telephone book. As long as I speak, all is right with the world. So now that I have the chance to say something, albeit on paper (or in this case on screen), what do I have to say?

Nothing.

How crazy is that?

I gave a speech this fall to a group of government employees on Women’s Suffrage Day. The theme to my talk was “Let your Voice be Heard.” I talked about how the founders of the Women’s Rights Movement were simply trying to let their voices be heard and if anyone speaks loud enough with passion and determination, it can be heard. During the reception that followed, one of the attendees told me that I had inspired her to write a book. She said had considered writing before and her family had been encouraging her to do it, but she hadn’t found the confidence to try until I told her to make her voice heard. What amazes me about that day is I had no idea what I was going to say to that group until 10 minutes before I opened my mouth to speak. I had done a little research about the movement before I got there, but everything I had rehearsed in my head sounded like a 7^th grade book report. The only direction I had was just be yourself and you’ll be fine. I’m a scripted radio news reporter. I have no self! So what did I do? I took the thoughts of the speaker before me and re-stated what I interpreted to be her message. My warm up act was a museum curator who went through a slide presentation of all the materials in the state library related to the Movement. It was my book report with props. So, I did what comes naturally to me. I listened to her story and re-told it in a different, simpler voice. That is what I do as a reporter. I listen to someone else’s story and re-tell it. It’s the only voice I’ve ever found.

 So why am I blogging about chocolate? 

Chocolate is my “John Doe” voice.  It’s my unidentified topic that has to be called something.